(from an email I was sent - original author not known)

Signs that you have had too much of the 21st Century already:
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbour yet this year.
6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
7. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
8. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
10. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a 9 to get an outside line.
11. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
12. Your companys' welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
13. You have your resume on a diskette.
14. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
15. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
16. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
17. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
18. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
19. You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.
20. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a visitor.
21. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
22. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
23. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
24. Vacation time is something you roll over to next year.
25. Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because someone you didn't EVEN KNOW WORKED THERE is leaving.
26. Your relatives and family describe your job as works with computers.
27. The only reason you recognise your kids is because their pictures are on your desk.

AND THE CLINCHERS ARE....
28. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
29. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your 'friends you-send-jokes-to' e-mail group.
30. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes, emails and text messages
31. You were too busy to notice there was no number 9.

John

...I have decided to answer true or false to the ones that affect me!
1) FALSE
2) TRUE
3) TRUE(ISH) 6 for 2
4) TRUE
5) TRUE, although it is Maldives
6) FALSE - Thats why they have all those telephone numbers above!
7) TRUE - anyway I try telling them in the pub and I ruin them
8) TRUE
9) Wait there is no '9' - anyone seen it.
10) SOMETIMES
11) TRUE - until they relocated.
12) FALSE
13) TRUE and on my personal work drive, on my webspace and on my phone.
14) FALSE
15) TRUE - No one does.
16) FALSE
17) PASS - PROBABLY TRUE THOUGH
18) FALSE - Winter only.
19) FALSE - need to work it out though.
20) FALSE - Usually an agent, because we just give them money and commision the more they moan the more they get, okay stop ranting Simon.
21) TRUE - And Birthday food.
22) TRUE - All 28 of them (Who said Men can't multi-task)
23) TRUE - And the flights for them all to brainstorm in Bermuda.
24) TRUE - Or take it as cash.
25) TRUE - Never give money unless you know them personally.
26) TRUE - Usually accompanied by explain your job to me again.
27) FALSE - Kids what kids, ssshhhh don't tell the CSA.

28-30) TRUE - and took the time to right all this rubbish.
31) FALSE - Noticed it as I was typing.